laugh

each step in the same journey

i swear i was once running from

i’m back to being the same hopeless little girl

anxiously attached

not yet avoidant

have i inherited their bitterness?

i know i have her eyes and his laugh

but do i possess that anger…

my mouth needs to be wired shut

i need to bite off my tongue

my brain is made of mold

deteriorating

my soul is tender

please be gentle with my heart

i’ve ripped it out from my chest

and now your hands are all bloody

i promise it’s a compliment

am i living all the wrong clichés?

am i just another statistic?

i’ve told so many people my story

it’s no longer mine

have i truly overcome anything if i can’t bring myself to experience the left over sadness?

laughing to avoid the tears welling up in my eyes

i do not care

i will tell you everything

i promise i do not care

i attempt to humor others with small cries for help

it never works

-e.i.a

04/25/2023